MiseryXchord

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

meagan-marie:

[Update 3/28]

I apologize in advance for the vulgar language.

Yesterday a lot of the fears that kept me from speaking out for so long were realized. Although the general response to my words was overwhelmingly positive, I was and still am being called a stupid bitch, a cunt, and “all that is wrong with womankind.” I’ve been insulted, misrepresented, and threatened.

I’m not going to lie. It hurts. But I stand by the content of my blog, and the primary message of empowerment behind it. The private messages from both men and women relaying that my words have helped them gather courage to stand up for themselves makes it absolutely worthwhile. The best part is that I’ll be going on the journey with them. Standing up (for myself) is new to me, too.

I’d like to address a few common questions, though. Firstly, I didn’t name the outlet because I’ve found recently that a few individuals championing a good cause can rapidly spin out of control into an angry mob, to a point that it seems acceptable to threaten physical harm against others. This isn’t acceptable and is counterproductive to the positive message. Therefore, as the situation was already dealt with by PAX, I left it anonymous, and instead focused on the bigger issue of harassment and sexism in the game industry and cosplay culture.

That being said, the website in question has made a point to out themselves and accuse me of using this blog as a platform to promote my “modeling career” and make several other unflattering insinuations in now-deleted comments. If you happen upon the conversation, which I’m still not going to link to, I ask that you please remain mature about your viewpoints even if others are not.

Reading said comments, the most common argument I’m hearing in defense of the outlet’s behavior is that it was intended as a joke. I get that it was intended to be a joke, but I don’t think it was funny, or appropriate, especially considering how young some of the cosplayers were. To be honest, I wouldn’t have taken the issue to PAX if the press member had apologized after I told him it was rude an unprofessional. What caused me to take it to PAX was the subsequent comments, especially the “they are dressed sexy, so they are asking for it” line. I see that as a very dangerous way of thinking for a professional to hold at a convention.

As for if all of the girls were uncomfortable, I can’t speak for each and every one of them. I apologized to the group several times for not knowing the angle of the interview, and they accepted my apology. I did, however, have two of the cosplayers contact me personally and thank me for standing up for them after what they deemed as inappropriate behavior, because they wouldn’t have done it themselves. One also wrote about the experience in this story. In a moment of self-doubt, I also asked the crowd around me who had watched the scene unfold if I’d acted out of line, as by the end of our back and forth I was outwardly angry at the press member. Four to five people in earshot agreed that he was incredibly disrespectful, especially with his latter comments. At least three individuals brought me their cameras in an unsolicited response, pulling up photos they took to help me identify him.

Either way, if you agree or disagree that the punishment was fitting for the comment, I want to stress that this blog was about more than the incident at PAX. Yes, in the full spectrum of harassment, the initial “joke” (but not following comments) registers fairly low on the scale. The PAX encounter was a catalyst to a discussion about a bigger issue, however. This is a problem in our industry. This is something that needs to be addressed. I’ve not even detailed the worst encounters (which turned physical) that I’ve come across below. And I’m just one woman. So the crux of this blog was to draw attention to a very real problem, and to do so with a positive message of standing up for one’s self.

A few smaller points:

• I honestly can’t see how the photo to the right of this blog is sexually suggestive or undermines my message. I find this line of thinking really unfortunate. That being said, if you’re one of the individuals calling out my cosplay or old modeling shots as a means to try and discredit my voice, I can’t help but feel that your mind has already been made. Fighting to change that opinion seems futile if my words have not resonated already.
• To all you awesome men in the industry, please don’t feel the need to apologize for the actions of others in your gender. Part of this blog was to bring to light that I want to be treated like a unique individual, and not just have it assumed that all women are comfortable with the same sets of behavior. You’ve got nothing to apologize for if you’ve done nothing wrong.

Thanks for listening, all.

[Original Blog] 

As many of my female peers are doing at the moment, I’m reading a book by Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg called Lean In. The first chapter asks: What would you do if you weren’t afraid? 

My answer? I’d write this blog.

Hello. My name is Meagan Marie, and I’m a person. I’ve decided I’m going to start standing up for myself in order to be more frequently treated like one.

Something transpired at PAX this weekend that was a true eye opener. While hosting a Tomb Raider cosplay gathering, comprised of eight or so incredibly nice and talented young women, a member of the press asked if he could grab a quick interview. I said he’d need to ask them, not me, and they agreed. He squeezed into the group and posed a question. I couldn’t hear what he said over the hubbub of the show floor, but the confused and uncomfortable looks from the ladies indicated that it wasn’t what they expected, to say the least.

I moved in closer and inquired “Excuse me, what did you ask?” with a forced smile on my face, so to give him the benefit of the doubt. He laughed and didn’t respond, moving a few steps away as I repeated the question to the group of women. Turns out he’d probed what it felt like “knowing that none of the men in this room could please them in bed.” Yes, I’m aware it’s a poor adaptation of a gag told by a certain puppet dog with an affinity for insults. Lack of originally doesn’t excuse this behavior, however.

My anger flared upon hearing this, and for a moment I almost let it get the best of me. I attempted to calm myself down before walking towards him and the cameraman, and expressing that it was rude and unprofessional to assume that these young women were comfortable discussing sexual matters on camera. I intended to leave the conversation at that, but his subsequent response escalated matters quickly and clearly illustrated that this ran much deeper than a poor attempt at humor. He proceeded to tell me that “I was one of those oversensitive feminists” and that “the girls were dressing sexy, so they were asking for it.” Yes, he pulled the “cosplay is consent” card.

At this point, as he snaked off into the crowd muttering angrily at me, I was livid. Actually shaking a bit. It was inexcusable in my mind to treat the group of women in this manner, especially when I gathered them there to participate in an official capacity. I suppose I felt protective for this reason. As if I’d exposed them to an undesirable element of the convention. They united to celebrate their fandom, only to have an uncomfortable and unprofessional moment captured on film.

As I stated publicly this weekend, we escalated the issue to PAX and they responded with overwhelming concern and worked to ensure he wouldn’t bother anyone at the this or future PAX events. They handled the situation with flying colors.

But this encounter isn’t the crux of my blog. This blog is about what I came to realize as a result of the press member’s actions. And what I realized is this: When it comes to defending others, I’m fierce. I’m assertive. And I will hold my ground. One of the cosplayers tweeted me to praise my bravery and say they wish they had the courage to stand up too. The truth is my bravery doesn’t run that deep. When it comes to defending myself I’m a rug that is walked over repeatedly. This has to stop.

Similar behavior has been directed at me for years. Back in 2007 at my very first GDC, I was starry-eyed and overwhelmed to be in the midst of so many people I idolized. So when a drunken CEO of a then-startup pointed to my midsection and said “I want to have my babies in there,” I laughed. I did the same next year when another developer told me that he “didn’t recognize me with my clothes on” after meeting me the night prior at a formal event (to which I wore a cocktail dress). The trend continued for years, and I took it silently each and every time.

It got so bad that one of my Game Informer coworkers had to sit me down and convince me to file a complaint against a massive publisher, after one of their PR leads repeatedly commented about how much he “loved my tits” at a party. Each time I laughed it off and internalized my embarrassment, cementing a fixed smile on my face while fighting back tears. Why? Because I was afraid to rock the boat. I was afraid to perpetuate rumors that I was uptight, difficult, or had no sense of humor. I was afraid of what I’d heard being said about other women being said about me. So I would stick up for others, but never for myself. Sticking up for others was the right thing to do. I had to be careful not to stick my neck out too far, though.

I’m ashamed to admit my lack of courage has continued to this day. While on a press tour in Europe late last year I sat alone with an interviewer while he set up his camera. PR was talking to another member of the press just out of earshot. I asked the journalist what his readers would like to know about me first, per the introduction he outlined earlier. He responded nonchalantly, “Well, they’d really like to see you naked.” I was so shocked I didn’t even register what he said, and I defaulted to my uncomfortable chuckle and frozen smile. I conducted the interview as if nothing had happened. I should have walked out of the room then and there. I should have immediately reported it to PR. But I didn’t, because I was afraid.

And while these industry comments hurt the most, as they often do when coming from peers, I’ve got hope for change even if it is motivated by fear. In a social economy where one unprofessional tweet can ruin a career, I feel like the few unsavory industry personalities are becoming more aware of their words. My line in the sand doesn’t end there, though. I’m going to start holding commenters accountable for their actions too, even if I can only do so on my social spaces.

So here is the deal. I’m a person. I’m not just a “girl on the internet.” I am not comfortable with you remarking on my breasts. I am not comfortable with you implying that you’d like to have sex with me. And I don’t appreciate you rating my looks against my girlfriends in candid photos.

While I can’t stop these comments and questions from arising when they pop up on random blogs across the web, I can stand up and say that that I won’t accept being talked to in this manner anymore. I’m not simply going to ignore you; I’m going to call you out and tell you that you’re being inappropriate. Just because I have a public job and an equally public hobby doesn’t give you the right to ignore my comfort zone.

The situation this weekend at PAX made me question why I’m willing to stand up for others, but not myself. By allowing myself to be treated this way I’m perpetuating that this behavior is acceptable. And it isn’t. If I continue to stand by silently, I might as well sit on the sidelines and watch while other young women endure what I have.

The treatment and representation of women in gaming has come to a head this past year, and I know some of you are tired of hearing about it. I’m tired of living it. I want to feel safe and valued as a member of this industry, whether I’m conducting an interview, talking to fans on a convention floor, or cosplaying. And I have a right to that.

I’m not afraid anymore. I’m angry.

[For those of you who have been so supportive these past years, both in the industry and out, please know this blog isn’t directed at you. I can’t imagine dedicating my life to anything other than video games. And that’s why I’m going to fight my hardest to leave it a better place.]

You don’t need feminism, you need to stop being a little bitch and realize that there are still women in other countries fighting to get an education. They’re the ones who need EQUALITY, not government-paid birth control.

stfuhypocrisy:

glittertitties:

it’s the magical conservative magic trick where they suddenly pretend to care about women at all and on top of it women who aren’t american

it’s so impressive how quickly you guys do this like there isn’t any shame or anything

That’s it Brittany, we need to revoke our feminist cards because we are unable to hop on a plane at a moment’s notice to stop any and all female genital mutilations and/or public stonings of women etc before or as they are happening. Clearly we’re not doing enough.

Ugh.

(Source: thecapitalistblonde)

Insight into the Comic Book Industry

eschergirls:

selkiesiun submitted:

This is not so much a critique post as it is a conformation of how absurd the standards of art in the comic book industry have become.

I traveled to San Diego Comic Con this year and participated in the portfolio reviews they where holding from Thursday to Sunday. Although I will admit I am not the best artist in the world, I really wanted to try and show them that comic book art could be done in a realistic manor while still keeping the superhuman aesthetics of the art form.

This Batwoman piece was the work that I gained the most flack for from all the companies because the anatomy was as they quoted ‘not industry standard.’ At one company (which I shall choose to not name) I was given a full critique on the anatomical incorrections as the following.

“Her breasts are much too small and do not have the lift that superhero women should have. Her jawline is fat and her neck much too long. The style of her hair is clunky and does not flow in a sense that a super human would. Her hips, waist and thighs are too big and she honestly looks fat. No one is going to want to read a comic with a fat female protagonist. I honestly recommend looking at issues of Sport’s Illustrated to get the right anatomy. Those women are the peak of human perfection, and that is what we want in this industry.”

Peak of human perfection? I don’t know about you, but I don’t see living on salad and dietary pills as perfection.

I would like to say this was just the opinion of one editor from one company, but I found similar opinions at almost every review I went to. By the end I was pretty upset, having been following this blog for very long and trying hard to make my anatomy believable and human. But this is not something the comic book industry seems to want, and it’s something that I thought everyone deserved to be informed on.

Again, this is not to bring attention to me and my own art, but rather inform the community of just what their artistic standards are, and why so many what we deem ‘bad artists’ are able to get full careers working for these companies.

Your Batwoman pic is awesome, and it’s not like you didn’t give her curves or anything and her breasts aren’t small.  What do they think swimsuit models look like in a costume anyway?  And honestly, your piece is a lot closer to that SI cover than a lot of the “industry standard” art, but it is interesting that they consider Sports Illustrated swimsuit models as what superheroines should look like (even though they don’t end up looking like SI swimsuit models either.)

It doesn’t surprise me though, but it’s sad that that is considered the “peak of human perfection” though.  I think they’re confusing “what I find attractive in women” and “a woman at the peak of athletic perfection” much less “human perfection.”

(As a note, I don’t think we should assume that professional models necessarily exist on diet pills and salads, nor that thin people are necessarily unhealthily starving themselves.  Also, SI images probably are quite touched up too.)

According to One Comic Book Publisher, this Batwoman “looks fat”

dcwomenkickingass:

Over on the Escher Girls blog, which does an amazingly consistent and good job of slicing and dicing comic book art featuring women, a submission was posted which blew my already cynical mind.

It was about a Batwoman piece that artist submitted for a portfolio review. The artist freely admits to not being the best artist in the world but wanted to get some feedback from portfolio reviews during SDCC.

I’ve stood and watched some portfolio reviews at conventions, and I’ve seen all levels of artists’ stuff -  from penciled images that makes your jaw drop with “you’ve got to be kidding me” to work that you can see real potential in.

You can check out more of her work on her DA page, but let’s focus on the comments she received in regard to this sketch of Batwoman.

I’d say that is fine portrait of Batwoman and, bonus, that no backs were broken in the production of it. Gail Simone said, “I like that Batwoman piece very much. I don’t know what the rest of the portfolio is like, but if you can tell a story as well, I would work with you any time.”

And now on to the feedback. You can read the whole thing over at Escher Girls but essentially the general feedback from the publishers was that it “wasn’t industry standard”. One company was more specific. Brace yourself: (Bolding mine.)

“Her breasts are much too small and do not have the lift that superhero women should have. Her jawline is fat and her neck much too long. The style of her hair is clunky and does not flow in a sense that a super human would. Her hips, waist and thighs are too big and she honestly looks fat. No one is going to want to read a comic with a fat female protagonist. I honestly recommend looking at issues of Sport’s Illustrated to get the right anatomy. Those women are the peak of human perfection, and that is what we want in this industry.”

You know I could post a few recent covers that show off female characters and their lack of anatomy (and backs and normal size asses) but I don’t even think I have too. And the fat comment? Look at the waist — does that look anyone who could be reasonably considered overweight?

And remember we don’t know which comic company this is. Could be a big two, could be an indie.

That said I am not the least bit surprised. Not when I was told by an artist who works at a big two company that an another artist was not given a gig on a female led book because a senior executive didn’t think the artist “drew women ‘sexy enough’”

And there are other tales I’ve been told. But I’ll save them for another day.

The debate about how women are drawn in comics seems to never end. And each time it comes up I am heartened by the folks who get it and then brought down to earth by the amazingly cluelessness of others - both men and women. Kelly’s column on the topic over on CBR practically broke the internet but if you haven’t read it you should. But prepare yourself for some of the comments.

And look this post isn’t about having artists who aren’t ready for the big time getting a pass. This isn’t about female artists and comics. This isn’t about disagreeing that there is a hyper-realism in comics. Of course there is, I know absolutely no one is real life who flies or has the ability to stop a missile with their bare hands. This is about how there is a fundamental disconnect by some people in comics when it comes to the depiction of women. Not by all. But even one like the person who commented on the Batwoman piece is too much.

Thoughts about weight, ice cream, and how men treat women…

fattiesinlove:

As some people who follow our blog might know, I work in an ice cream shop. Last night we were very busy and on two occasions, I noticed something happen with customers. In the first exchange, there was a family with two teenaged daughters, a mother and father. One of my coworkers was jotting down their order while I worked on scooping my own. The daughter ordered a cone with, maybe, two scoops? And the father turns to her and declares, “You’d better fit in that five hundred dollar prom gown I bought you.” The girl said nothing, and her sister cut in with, “Dad, she’ll fit!” If that girl went home and made herself throw up, or at least was completely unable to enjoy her dessert, I wouldn’t be surprised. The man the words came from wasn’t much of a trim athlete himself, and she was honestly gorgeous and fit, so… well. Fuck him.

Next there was a couple that I served. I passed out their sundae and cone and the man turned to the wife (who was a few feet away) and called to her, “I think somebody’s going to have to run a few miles tomorrow!” She couldn’t hear him, so he repeats this to her three times before she nods and responds with a half-hearted, “Yeah.”

Where do men (nay, people in general) get off telling women how to live their lives, what to eat, how to eat it, what to wear and how clothes should look on their bodies? It’s a wonder that society seems so puzzled about eating disorders when we have douchebags attached to girls saying things that make them feel beyond insecure. Now, you could argue that in the second case, she could just dump the man (never mind the fact that they might live together, may have been married, etc…)- but in the first instance, that girl presumably lives with her father and has been since birth, and will until she hopefully moves out. So, she’s stuck with this hyper-critical voice of a man who has no idea what power his words carry. 

From personal experience, nothing made me feel worse than when my dad would grin, pinch my side and chuckle, “You’re getting a belly there, kiddo.” At the time, I was crushed. Now, I wouldn’t care very much and would call him out— I mean, I love my tummy and my goofy-ass dad. But, for the average girl who is unexposed to fat acceptance, indeed, to the average girl who isn’t even fat and just needs to hear about BODY acceptance, no matter how sweet their father/brother/whoever is, the jokes those men make are serious. 

I hope those girls enjoyed their ice cream. I mean, we make some quality shit. And I hope they could get ready for bed, look in the mirror, and see the same beautiful women that I saw. -A

Anonymous asked: Ron Paul is NOT racist, sexist or homophobic, please do some research. He’s the only honest candidate who has a real plan that will save the country. The media is ignoring/labelling him because they know he has the right idea and they don’t want what’s best for the people.

sanityscraps:

Ron Paul wants to define life as starting at conception, build a fence along the US-Mexico border, prevent the Supreme Court from hearing cases on the Establishment Clause or the right to privacy, permitting the return of sodomy laws and the like (a bill which he has repeatedly re-introduced), pull out of the UN, disband NATO, end birthright citizenship, deny federal funding to any organisation which “which presents male or female homosexuality as an acceptable alternative life style or which suggest that it can be an acceptable life style” along with destroying public education and social security, and abolish the Federal Reserve in order to put America back on the gold standard. He was also the sole vote against divesting US federal government investments in corporations doing business with the genocidal government of the Sudan.

Oh, and he believes that the Left is waging a war on religion and Christmas, he’s against gay marriage, is against the popular vote, opposes the Civil Rights Act of 1964, wants the estate tax repealed, is STILL making racist remarks, believes that the Panama Canal should be the property of the United States, and believes in New World Order conspiracy theories, not to mention his belief that the International Baccalaureate program is UN mind control.

(h/t)

Now as I said in another post literally just today, I don’t like Ron Paul because he’ll leave certain things alone as “states’ issues.” But history has proven that doesn’t work. Human rights trump states’ rights. A state is not a person; a human is a person. Human rights don’t get to be voted on.

BAM.

Arrested female protesters from #OccupyOakland subjected to sexual harassment from Oakland Police: “While standing single file in a hallway with male inmates leering and licking the windows in their cell doors, we were told to hold out our bras and shake our breasts. “Come on, ladies, shimmy,” said one sheriff. “Get into it. Shimmy.”

youthiswasted:

“After transfer [to the Santa Rita jail], we were subjected to another round of searches, this time more invasive than the last. While standing single file in a hallway with male inmates leering and licking the windows in their cell doors, we were told to hold out our bras and shake our breasts. “Come on, ladies, shimmy,” said one sheriff. “Get into it. Shimmy.”

Full article here.

I’m disgusted at the Oakland Police Department, the NYPD, and the Boston Police Department, from what I’ve read so far. I used to have respect for the NYPD, now I cannot look at them the same way when I see them on the street.

(Oh hey, President Obama, about that exporting democracy abroad business we’ve been involved in these past ten years? It might be time to import some democracy back to the United States. These people are being wrongfully imprisoned because they are fighting for civil rights.)

vyron:

i didnt slap that old bitch, everybody seen that shit..idgaf though. fuck her and fuck the media..im not stupid and im not lettin nobody sue me for my paper. its my job to slap cameras out the way so like i said before, fuck your opinion your blog and ya peeps.ha

get $

golf wang

Guess what, dumbass, slapping cameras constitutes assault and battery, especially when you “slap” them into a photographer’s face. You broke another photographer’s lens before you struck her, and he’s pressing charges also… going to whine that you didn’t do THAT, either? Breaking a $2600 lens = FELONY vandalism.

Oh, and BTW, congrats… 

Odd Future kicked out of Big Day Out Festival 

A controversial hip-hop group has been ditched from the Big Day Out lineout because of its homophobic lyrics.

Music by hip-hop collective Odd Future features homophobic and misogynistic lyrics that speak of homosexuals in derogatory terms and describes sexual violence against women…

fuckyeahfeminists:

Facebook Finally Removes Its Pro-Rape Pages

YAY!

It only took two long months, over 186,000 signatures on a petition to Mark Zuckerberg, and finally a furious Twitter campaign to get Facebook to remove Pages that graphically celebrated and encouraged rape and sexual violence.

This time, anyway.

Warning: some readers might find the rest of this article and its links disturbing.

Unfortunately this was not the first time Facebook had to be externally pressured to enforce its own Terms around the flashpoint topic of sexual violence. And no, we’re not talking about consensual spanky-spanky between adults. (I’m sure Facebook would have taken that Page down much sooner.)

The first round was in August, when people demanded that Facebook take down a so-called “rape humor” page called “You know she’s playing hard to get when your [SIC] chasing her down an alleyway.”

Facebook defended keeping the rape page as a sort-of everyday, harmless thing, and in a statement to the BBC likened the pro-rape page to “pub jokes.” (Remind me to never go drinking with Facebook.)